What Lies Beneath



Finally, the days of spending long hours in a room filled with frustrated women discussing their miserable lives and backbiting about friends…

Of smiling and nodding like I really cared about their conversations…

Of hairdressers speaking – no, more like shouting – over my head…

 …Those days are long gone!

I have found a new way to look good with less stress!

This newfound love does not demand 100% of my attention. It is ready-to-wear and easy to take off – for a scratch, every now and then, or to get cool air onto my head on those very hot days! My newfound love is not clingy, has no separation anxiety and can stand alone.

It requires very little care or time and does not mind having a few other siblings to take on its role if the need arises. It is not reliant on a needle, thread or gum…

Y’all know what I’m talking about: Wigs! Wigs are it!

Wigs give you the flexibility to spice up your accessories or try on different hairstyles without damaging or stressing your actual hair. I’m sure a lot of women can relate to this type of loving relationship.

Wigs have also caused a bit of laziness in women. We tend to neglect our own hair since it’s always covered up. Wigs also tend to slip off unexpectedly, leaving many a woman exposed and embarrassed in public. Many men have also been led astray by the “W” until the women take off their wigs and reveal the mess of hair – or no hair at all – that lies beneath.


So, to avoid scarring the Bae when it’s time for the W to come off, here are a few tips for taking care of our hair underneath our wigs:

  1. Ensure you shampoo, deep-condition and keep your hair moisturized.
  2. If you’re a not a Naturalista (how many of us are?), try to prolong the periods between the times you relax your hair, say 4 times a year. You can choose what is most comfortable for your hair type.
  3. Opt for wigs with netted caps as opposed to cotton or nylon caps. Cotton and nylon caps absorb all the moisture in your hair, leading to dry or damaged hair.
  4. Wear neat braids to keep your hair in place – this prevents your hair from becoming a tangled mess.
  5. Make sure your wigs are comfortable, and not too tight. You can use hair clips to keep your wig in place if need be.
  6. Above all, try not to sleep with the wig so you can allow your hair to breathe.

I wish you a happy wig experience!

Sidebar: we left you with the cool girl slang for wigs. W. Yes W 🙂

Monkey Barring

Monkey-Barring (1)

Ever known those people who are never single? Whose dating game is always in Safe Mode (so it’s constantly running)? These people won’t let go of a relationship even when they’re bored or unhappy until they find another interesting person they’re willing to date, sometimes even secretly dating the new one until they gently ease out the old.

If you’ve ever known anyone who fits this description, or if you’ve felt that your significant other seemed a bit distant and uninvolved, chances are, you’ve been Monkey Barred.

To put it plainly, Monkey Barring is when you set up a relationship before the present one is over, swinging from one to the other with little or no breaks in between. (Like a monkey swinging between branches.)

So recently, in our usual office banter, a discussion came up about women and relationships and ThinkCap Tomi was of the opinion that women are more likely to ‘Monkey- bar’ in relationships than men.  To put it in ThinkCap Tomi’s words, “Women are evil and are cheats.”

The usual uproar followed with a debate on who does it more, but regardless of the answer to that controversial debate, monkey barring is practised by either gender. It can pretty much suck if you’re the victim, or be an awesome experience if you’re the Swinger. (And, to be fair, the different genders do it for different reasons.)

So why will a man or woman monkey bar you’re a**? Let’s explore.

  1. Trust: A person can choose to ‘monkey bar’ in a relationship simply because he/she doesn’t trust their partner. For this reason alone, they can begin casual relationships with other people and then abort ship once they feel the grass is greener on the other side.
  2. Loneliness/Boredom: Some people hate being single sha.  They constantly need a relationship to validate their existence: someone to talk to, cuddle or just get right down with. Throw in the perception that being single means no one finds you attractive, and you have a recipe for Monkey-Barring. Others don’t want to feel the heartbreak that comes with the end of a relationship, so they jump into another to fill the void.
  3. Just For Fun: For some, the excitement of having a new partner at different times is just plain exciting. This set of people take the saying, ‘variety is the spice of life’ to a whole different level: they do not desire commitment but love the thrill of swinging and leaving at their own will, regardless of the hurt they leave behind.

If any of these sound familiar, here’s how you can avoid being Monkey Barred:

  1. Make sure your Game is tight: be smooth, confident and try not to act desperate no matter how much you like the person. People respect and are attracted to others with an independent mind and will.
  2. Avoid them like a plague:  when you share your relationship histories (not all I hope, lest you provide ammunition for your own death in the future), be attentive to the triggers mentioned earlier so you can identify a potential ‘monkey – barrer’. Once you have, avoid them. However, if you’re in it for the fun too, then play along and keep your emotional tap switched off.